Re-shared from Road & Track, Text by Mr Regular.
You’re in Creative Writing I at a moderately priced State College Degree-Mill. You’re a Computer Science major who is required to take an English class so the college can extrude more money from you or your parents or the GI Bill. Whatever. It’s an easy A as long as you echo your professor’s opinions back to him in your papers.
But your 41-year-old, VW Jetta-driving, weak-handshaking, sarcasm-slinging professor, Dr. Recuahc, just made it hard. Can you believe this? Here’s your assignment:
“You are to examine an artifact from your childhood and explore its transformative properties which influenced your growth as an individual and cultural critic in a post 9/11 world.”
Translation: Write about something you liked when you were 10.
You want to write about your dad’s 1975 Camaro. You know enough about that machine to fill three pages double-spaced in less time than it takes to microwave popcorn and set off the dorm’s fire alarm. There’s a problem with your topic. Dr. Recuahc doesn’t like it.
Your professor says “That subject doesn’t fit the parameters of the assignment rubric.”
You counter and say “But it played a big part in my life.”
“That’s immaterial, you need a subject that morphs though the events of 2001 and has new meaning for you,” says Dr. Recuahc.
“My dad still drives it.”
“Good for him, bad for the environment. All V8’s should be banned. Find a new topic,” snaps Dr. Recuahc. He looks away when he says this, remembering something from his youth that you unknowingly touched.
I’m pausing this story right here and we’re going to examine Dr. Recuahc and the 1975 Camaro and discover the reason why your creative writing professor hates V8’s. (more…)