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The 2004 Pontiac GTO: a 1500lb gorilla in boardshorts and Wayfarers

2014 Pontiac GTO
Text by Mat Lowenstein, photography by Kale Golden

[Ed. note – From my friend Mat Lowenstein comes a review of our friend Kale Golden’s 2004 Pontiac GTO. This was shared privately and has some rough language, but I got such a kick out of it that I asked to publish it here with their permissions.]

What follows is a list of similes to help describe what it’s like to go from a 125hp (when new) turbodiesel to a 350hp pushrod V8.

The world’s biggest rubberband has been wrapped around the Earth 6 times and is now attached to your ass.

A pack of terrordogs lives in the muffler and in-gear deceleration makes them insane.

Violence, violence everywhere, all the time, in your ears and beneath your cockles.

This is how Arnold Schwarzenegger strengthens his neck muscles.
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